We are blessed but do not even realize it !!!!

I know there are days that we think we have it bad or are going through alot but we forget that there is someone out there going through worse. I have been working at school over the summer for a month now. My job entails me to sit at a desk at all times and i am not supposed to leave it until my shift is over. Although, today i broke that rule because of this blind lady who was struggling very hard to get into the building. I could not just sit there i had to get up and direct her to the laundry room where her clothes were. She was so pleasant and beautiful. She was very grateful and she asked me for my name and where i was from. Apparently, her best friend is also Nigerian and is from Lagos... I couldn't help asking her for her name and her number and after she left she got me thinking for a while if not for the whole time.....


How could such a wonderful person be blind? Why am i not blind? These are questions that God alone can answer but i know that so many of us are blessed but we do not even realize it...We always remember what is wrong and forget the good things in our lives.. Our minds are so occupied with what we do not have that we forget the many things that God has done for us. I have been having a pretty long week so somehow i believe that God wanted me to meet this wonderful person so every time i start feeling down i can remember that i am really blessed....
Love always,
Daddy's Little Girl....xoxo

My slacking days are over!! I think...

I know I have not blogged for over 2 months and as much as I would like to say I was very busy somehow I know I could have made time for it if I wanted to. Don't get me wrong you guys matter to me a great deal but I guess I had some serious sorting out to do. I am sorry it's taken me this long to update my blog but now things are going to be different because I am on vacation and although I have a job with lots of hours I am jobless So you are going to be seeing more of me now than ever before.

Love always,
Daddy's little girl....xoxo

Depression likes company

A lot has been going on with me of recent of which none has been good. Due to everything I have been quite depressed. There were days I barely made it through without wanting to break down and cry. After days of holding the tears back I finally let it all up down to my friend Ada. I think that was like the most awkward conversation we’ve had ever.

I just cried for about 20 minutes and then I told her I had to go. No explanations or reasons or grumbling apart from saying "Ada I’m really tired, I do not know how long I can continue to do this for". My really close friend called me later and could sense something was wrong. I am a very talkative person so the moment I am a little quiet you know I’m either tired (which rarely ever happens) or I have a lot on my mind. I didn't tell him what was up with me but I acknowledged the fact that I wasn't myself. Funny enough, our conversation was anything but weird. I ended up going to bed happy.

The next day I started reflecting on my life and I realized that we as humans choose to be depressed. Yes things get really bad sometimes but nothing can ruin our mood unless we allow it to. I had promised myself not to allow all the stuffs going on in my life bother me but somewhere along the line I had forgotten. There is no harm in crying once in a while but the moment it becomes frequent then there is a problem. Many times after I have finished crying I find myself the happiest because I feel like the weight has been lifted off my shoulders.

Nothing can get to you unless you allow it. There are going to be days that you will feel like crap, that you will wonder why your alive or you would just want to loose hope but if I was able to make it through days like that you also can. Remember depression likes company and that’s a company you don't want to keep.

Love always,
Daddy's little girl...xoxo

Just words but so much more!!!

First of all, I am really sorry I have not blogged for over a week. Sometimes, school gets so crazy that I almost forget to do things that really matter to me. I hope your weekend was better than mine? It is not like mine sucked but nothing exciting happened like that if you feel me. I remember the day I got this jewelry box because it totally brightened up my day. It was that day I found out that my 2nd and final monthly installment plan for my school fees was due in two weeks rather than in two months. I had just finished paying the 1st installment only a week ago so I knew this was going to be a rather impossible task for my mom. I was really upset and worried about my mom because my school fees had doubled because I changed school I lost my scholarship. I was literally trying to fight the tears from pouring down so I decided that if I took a long nap it would go away just for the moment. As I walked into my building, I could see a green slip in my mailbox, which usually indicated I had a package. I was contemplating whether to pick it up now or later but I finally decided to get it. When I got to my room, I opened the package and saw this jewelry box. I do not know whether it was the fact that is customized for me or the words or from who it came from but, this jewelry box kept me going and believing that everything will be alright. The fact that someone believed in me and cared was enough reason for me to keep believing in myself. Many times, people do not realize how much their words can give you hope. There have been many days that I have struggled but was able to survive and keep going because of someone's words. One day try telling your friends what you really like about them and you will find that in some weird way it would bring you joy to know that you just put a smile on someone's face. I know this is going to sound rather strange but, there some days when I get on facebook and read people's status and I notice their status is saying something about them been down, I immediately find myself sending them a message of encouragement so that they know that someone cares and they are not alone. It is really funny how far someone's encouragement and support can go even if it is just words. The funny part is that I do not think he ever knew how much that jewelry box touched my life even if it was for that moment or that day. I want to say a big thank you for giving me the courage to keep believing even when there was nothing to believe in. I also, want to thank everyone that has given me hope in one way or the other I hope that I can one day do the same for you one of these days. T he coolest thing about my jewelry box is that it has Mbang (which is the name that my mom and I share) written on it. People do not know it is the little things that count but I am glad that I know and somehow I am going to always try and make it count...xoxo
Daddy's little girl (Mbang) Lol.

A bright beginning

I I am super excited to be writing my first journal. I have wanted to do this for a long time but I was not able to gather the motivation until now. I have always been that person that has wanted to give someone hope even if it is just through a few kind words. The reason I decided to create a blog was so that someone out there can know that there is still hope for a bright future. Also, so that someone out there can know that they are not the only one who is struggling. Who is feeling defeated, abandoned or barely surviving. If only they can find the strength and courage to hold on for a little while, everything will be all right. The 22nd was my friend Tomi Lee's birthday and because of how wonderful she has been, a couple of us decided to have a surprise party for her. We wanted it to be really special so we cooked some Nigerian food and invited her friends. It turned out to be great but the best part was when she came in, her face was priceless. It reminded me that making other people happy was what made me happy and I knew that I had to create my blog. Also, yesterday was a pretty rough day for me. Besides the fact that I had three exams, it was also my late father's birthday and as much as I tried to be okay I found myself down. I found myself thinking a lot about how he died, how much I miss him and how different things would be if he were alive. I know I cannot forget it especially since I witnessed his death but when I remember him, I want it to be memories of love and joy. I know it is going to take time but it is my past and that is where I want to leave it. I want to grow from this experience. I want to become a stronger person from this experience and not break from it. Everything happens for a reason even if I do not understand why some things should happen now maybe one day I will. I know I am going to always miss my daddy but with such an amazing mum it is going to be hard.lol..I have been trying to understand why I have been the calmest and happiest that I have been for as long as I can remember especially now that it has been the hardest for me. After a lot of thinking, I was able to realize that it is because of the people in my life. God has truly blessed me with a wonderful family and friends I cannot be more grateful. Sometimes when I get frustrated and start feeling like there is no point in trying, my family and friends make life worth living. I do not find it necessary mentioning names but I want you all to know I love you so much and I am going to try my best to always be here for you. Whenever I feel I cannot make it anymore something makes me realize that everything is going to be alright. So there is still hope, things will not always be this way. And remember you are not alone......xoxo
Daddy's little girl.