A lot has been going on with me of recent of which none has been good. Due to everything I have been quite depressed. There were days I barely made it through without wanting to break down and cry. After days of holding the tears back I finally let it all up down to my friend Ada. I think that was like the most awkward conversation we’ve had ever.
I just cried for about 20 minutes and then I told her I had to go. No explanations or reasons or grumbling apart from saying "Ada I’m really tired, I do not know how long I can continue to do this for". My really close friend called me later and could sense something was wrong. I am a very talkative person so the moment I am a little quiet you know I’m either tired (which rarely ever happens) or I have a lot on my mind. I didn't tell him what was up with me but I acknowledged the fact that I wasn't myself. Funny enough, our conversation was anything but weird. I ended up going to bed happy.
The next day I started reflecting on my life and I realized that we as humans choose to be depressed. Yes things get really bad sometimes but nothing can ruin our mood unless we allow it to. I had promised myself not to allow all the stuffs going on in my life bother me but somewhere along the line I had forgotten. There is no harm in crying once in a while but the moment it becomes frequent then there is a problem. Many times after I have finished crying I find myself the happiest because I feel like the weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
Nothing can get to you unless you allow it. There are going to be days that you will feel like crap, that you will wonder why your alive or you would just want to loose hope but if I was able to make it through days like that you also can. Remember depression likes company and that’s a company you don't want to keep.
Love always,
Daddy's little girl...xoxo
