Just before you start reading this, it was written like some six months ago (May ending) so am glad to say that I'm not in that place anymore. I'm posting this very personal note I wrote so that you can see that even when we get to our lowest points we can make our way back no matter how bad it gets. I am no longer lost though there are still a lot of things I have to figure out but I have more courage, hope, perseverance, strength, and faith than ever before.
For once in my life I am very confused without a clue of where to turn
To wake up and find that all the things you felt were familiar aren't
All the places, people and relationships you built were on lies
That you could have done anything for the people that left you in the cold
That you have been made to look like a fool by people you trusted
I lay in bed every morning hoping that yesterday was a dream but it wasn't
Now everything that was once so familiar seems strange
And though there are still people to talk to I don't want to
There are no needs for words because my feelings cannot be expressed
The pain is unbearable and though I would like to share it can only be felt
I lay in bed trying to figure out how things got this bad
I lay in bed trying to figure out where I went wrong
All the memories and good times we've shared so far away
I thought that our bond was stronger than this
I thought that we were are at a point that we could make it from anything
But, obviously I was wrong.... really, really wrong
I think what hurts the most was that you were willing to talk to anyone but me
Why is the bad stuff so easy to believe?
I get that you were trying to find yourself but you lost yourself in doing so
You left me completely questioning all my relationships.
But I know that one-day would come that I would feel no pain no more
One day would come that my heart would not be so heavy
But today like the last couple of days am still lost but this too shall pass...
And it did pass (with God, family, and great friends)...It's been only a couple of months ago and am more fearless than ever before (I think) lol!!! So, there's nothing wrong in feeling down and defeated as long as you remember you can make your way back from anything. So keep getting up, trying to be okay even if you have to fake it sometimes and one day you would be okay:)
Love always,
Daddy's lil girl (Mbang)..xoxo
6 comments:
Love you dearly! *Covers my eyes*
Awww pookie i heart you more:)
Truly it makes you wonder about relationship but as you say, we need to move forward and hopefully the healing would come.
It gets better each day, the broken fragments and tiny pieces. One by one, God heals and restores, and before you know it, you'll be trusting and believing the best in people again. It may take awhile with wobbly steps, but I know you'll get there again.
~RAT.
awwwww sweetiee i love u... Just cnt wait to get out of my lost and clueless shell like u did ...its pretty annoying and everyone around me just keeps irritating me.. thats why u need to come back.. one of these days u will see me at ur front door.
Bimpe: Thanks for the comment and encouragement y'all. It means everything to me. Yes ooh tiny steps to overcoming stuff but am sure we'll all get there eventually. Toyosi I love you too and you would find your way and know where your supposed to be and be doing. But before then, I would be here holding your hand and guiding you through it all.. And yes appear at my door step I would be very pleased:)
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