Little things with great LOVE!

We make a living by not what we get, but we make a life by what we give. ~Winston Churchill


I visited the motherless baby home in lekki and its like two streets from my sisters house so we just strolled down. I was so pleased with what I saw when the gates were opened. It was a very cute set up they had for these kids. They had a couple of buildings and in the middle of those buildings a play ground. I was very happy to see that these kids were been taken care of well. Going to places like that just reminds you of how much all the ‘supposedly’ big things we complain about are not important. I’ve been sponsoring a 7 year boy old well now 9 year old in the Philippines for a year and a half and it’s the most rewarding experience I have had so far. We have written to each other a couple of times and this experience has been a life changing experience for me. I know many of us want to help but do not feel like were in a position too. “Nobody made a greater mistake than he who did nothing because he could only do a little.” Your just one and may only have a little but you can do something. Even the little things matter like your words, allowing someone keep the change and helping to increase awareness about those in-need. So today I challenge you once again do “small things with great love.” And whatever it is you may be going through always remember that you are not alone.

Love always,
Daddy's little girl (Mbang)xoxo

"No we're not lucky, we're BLESSED!!!"

Sometimes I forget to remember how blessed and fortunate I am and am trying not to do that again. This happens especially when I feel things are not going the way I want them to go or when things are not working out well. Anyways, if you can tell I haven’t blogged for a while and though from time to time I find myself scrabbling stuff on a piece of paper, or writing stuff in the memo pad on my blackberry I have been struggling to actually write a full post and put it up. It’s weird because I get inspiration to write all the time, every day; whether its from the lyrics of songs (i.e. Coldplay, Dido) talking to people, meeting new people or watching a show and a scene comes up with the right music playing it can be so personal for me. But, somehow I find a way to procrastinate blogging. I kept telling myself that I would blog when I start my NGO but seeing as that is taking longer than I hoped it would I might as well start blogging again now that I got serious inspiration.

Yesterday I went to the palms to go see a movie with a couple of friends. For those of you who don’t know what the palm is, it’s a shopping mall in Nigeria where every one well, maybe not everyone but most people are overdressed like their going to the club. Like it’s pretty intense some days most babes are in really high heels and
I always feel so under dressed lol. But yea, so my friend came with some of her other friends one of which was physically disabled. The crazy thing is that though she’s on a wheel chair she doesn’t let it upset her or stop her from doing absolutely everything. She is one of the liveliest people I have met and her out look on life is so amazing. Despite her disability, she would do everything she can possibly do herself and be pleasant about it. She does not allow this disability to limit her or define her.

Most of us have it so much easier though we are still ungrateful, depressed and limit ourselves. We do not have any physical or mental disability limiting us though we limit ourselves. We don’t need someone to take us to the bathroom just to use the toilet or, to lift us up to sit down and many little things we take for granted put yet we do not realize how blessed and lucky we are. So many people are lacking the basic things we have like food, shelter, clean water and good health but yet we seem to think we have it bad. Many people do not know where their next meal is coming from. Yes, things may be pretty bad with you but there are so many people that have it worse so even when things are pretty shitty (excuse my language) there are still many reasons for us to be grateful.

Today is also September 11 and it’s been 10 years ago since the terrorist attack occurred in New York. So many lives were lost and though it’s been ten years, families and friends of victims especially are hurting like it just happened all over again. My prayers and thoughts are with you and also to anyone out there who may have lost someone dear to them from my personal experiences it gets better, you get better. One day you wake up and it doesn’t hurt as much and even if it does you learn to deal with it. Just remember you’re not alone and though it may seem dark, lonely and difficult right now the sun will eventually come out. Things would get better. Like I always say, you can make your way back from anything and your not alone☺

PS: Special shout out to my sister Toun who just joined the blog world Yay!!. Be sure to check her out on: http://toun-anjous.blogspot.com/


Love always,
Daddy’s Little girl (Mbang)…..xoxo

Lost:(

Just before you start reading this, it was written like some six months ago (May ending) so am glad to say that I'm not in that place anymore. I'm posting this very personal note I wrote so that you can see that even when we get to our lowest points we can make our way back no matter how bad it gets. I am no longer lost though there are still a lot of things I have to figure out but I have more courage, hope, perseverance, strength, and faith than ever before.


For once in my life I am very confused without a clue of where to turn
To wake up and find that all the things you felt were familiar aren't
All the places, people and relationships you built were on lies
That you could have done anything for the people that left you in the cold
That you have been made to look like a fool by people you trusted
I lay in bed every morning hoping that yesterday was a dream but it wasn't
Now everything that was once so familiar seems strange
And though there are still people to talk to I don't want to
There are no needs for words because my feelings cannot be expressed
The pain is unbearable and though I would like to share it can only be felt
I lay in bed trying to figure out how things got this bad
I lay in bed trying to figure out where I went wrong
All the memories and good times we've shared so far away
I thought that our bond was stronger than this
I thought that we were are at a point that we could make it from anything
But, obviously I was wrong.... really, really wrong
I think what hurts the most was that you were willing to talk to anyone but me
Why is the bad stuff so easy to believe?
I get that you were trying to find yourself but you lost yourself in doing so
You left me completely questioning all my relationships.
But I know that one-day would come that I would feel no pain no more
One day would come that my heart would not be so heavy
But today like the last couple of days am still lost but this too shall pass...

And it did pass (with God, family, and great friends)...It's been only a couple of months ago and am more fearless than ever before (I think) lol!!! So, there's nothing wrong in feeling down and defeated as long as you remember you can make your way back from anything. So keep getting up, trying to be okay even if you have to fake it sometimes and one day you would be okay:)
Love always,
Daddy's lil girl (Mbang)..xoxo

Can't Stop Now......Got to keep fighting through the pain and obstacles

So I know that it's been a while since I’ve posted anything but lets just say that "Life Happened"..lol.. But, seriously this past months have been really challenging and tough for me but maybe not so difficult compared to what others go through but still difficult. There is nothing that hurts as much as betrayal and saying goodbye to someone you really do care for. Friendship, love, betrayal, heartbreak, disappointments well lets just say that I have my own share of them all but I am glad to say I made it through even though there were moments that I thought this was my breaking point. I never stopped writing but many of the things I wrote was at a point when I wasn't in a good place so I decided not to post any of those until I was doing much better. So much has changed since I wrote my last blog in April. I graduated from UMBC so I have my bachelor’s degree, I have taken the Lsat exam and there are many people that meant a lot to me that are no longer in my life. It has always been said that the most constant thing in life is change so I do not think all this should be all too surprising. Sometimes words cannot express how one is feeling but, lets just say that I have been going through some difficult times I’ve learned so much and am still learning from the last couple of months. These were some of the things I had to keep telling myself to get through it all...

You cannot let life change you, you cannot let life break you, and you have to try to keep moving forward no matter what. Just because its dark and rainy now doesn't mean the sun wouldn't come out eventually. You cannot stop believing your unstoppable and anyone that doesn't think so does not deserve to be in your life. Don't you ever let this world change you because it almost happened to me and it does not take much to allow that. If your going to do good do it without expectations do it for God. Do not be afraid to invest into relationships because you have been hurt or disappointed before because at the end of the day it would be your lose. Take your time to know someone and be sure your investing into the right people but the truth is at the end of the day you can never really know because people can be who you want them to be so just be careful but its worth the risk. But, do not let others suffer or pay for the pain and hurt others have brought to you. No one is perfect so if you do make a mistake, learn from it, re-evaluate yourself and move on. There is always room for individual growth and the ability for you to better yourself so do some self-reflecting when necessary. If you've wronged someone apologizing doesn't mean you lose your pride it just shows that your mature enough to handle things properly. Even if they do not forgive you at least you know that you tried and that you meant it. And if someone wrongs you I know forgiving them can be so hard especially when they never apologize or they keep doing more wrong things but forgiving people is for your good. So many times we have to let go in order to move forward and we cannot be asking God to bless us while we have so much bitterness and anger in our hearts so you see it can hinder our blessings. Despite how ugly and wicked the hearts of men may seem there are still good people out there who stand by you no matter what especially when the going is rough and hard. So many times, you would be surprised that those you may expect to be there aren't and those that aren't your closet of friends may be the ones there for you... One good thing the tough times does is allow you to know who your true friends are and those you can depend on. And if you make it through those times, you come out stronger than ever before... And never ever forget that you are not the only one who is struggling because a lot of people are, all you can do is keep trying. I've always believed that things/people/lyrics/words/music/stuff finds you when you need it the most so just keep holding on. Just like the song by REM says "Everybody cries and everybody hurts sometimes so hold on".For those of you that love it or do not know that song: http://youtu.be/ijZRCIrTgQc
Love always,
Daddy's litte girl(Mbang)...xoxo

Love Should Be Enough.......

I have always been one of those people that thought love was enough and should be able to get you through anything but is it really? I always felt that if you loved someone and they loved you back then you should be able to work through anything but apparently it is not that simple. I just watched Dear John today and it left me thinking the same way the Notebook got me thinking... Is there really a love like that? Or is it just in movies that such an unconditional love exists. You know the kind of love that keeps growing each day and continues to get deeper and stronger. The kind of love that forgives easily and loves during the good and especially the bad. A deep connection that keeps two as one forever. The truth is that I do not know if such a love exists in reality.

In reality, I see a love that is ready to give up so easily when there is a storm. I see a love that can hardly make it through the stormy days. I do not think people really know what it means to be in love and to truly love someone. Everyone is so quick to say those three words to anyone without even fully understanding what they mean and what comes with saying them. The truth is that when you really do love someone you never stop loving them. You may stop being in love with them but whether you like it or not no matter what they do to you would always love them. It's almost as though a small piece of them becomes a part of you forever. I was once told to fall for someone who is willing to catch me but that would be easier done if one could choose who they fall for. I wish love could be enough and two people loving themselves be enough but it is not always so.... :(
Love always and 4eva,
Daddy's little girl (Mbang)..xoxo

Life is so much more than........

Life is much more than whose driving the latest car or who has dated the hottest girl
Life is much more than wearing designer clothes or chilling with the cool kids
Life is much more than going clubbing, partying and getting wasted every now and then
Life is much more than trying to please everyone so that you can fit in
Life is much more than been successful and wealthy
Life is much more than bragging to your boys all the girls you've smashed (word of advice that's immature and lame and it says a lot about the kind of person you are).


Don't get me wrong; having some of these things in your life makes life pretty easier but none of the wealth or fame matters if you don't have anyone to share it with.
None of these matters if you don't have God in your life.
None of these matters if you cannot give back to those that lack.
None of these matters if you cannot be true to those close to you but especially yourself.
None of these matters if you cannot be strong enough to think for yourself (No one likes a follow-follow it's really not attractive).
None of these matters if your to scared to let others in because of the fear of getting hurt because at the end of the day you are going to be the one missing out. Always remember that you are not alone. Everyone is going through something so hang in there.
Love always,
Daddy's little girl (Mbang)…xoxo

Why do you limit yourself?

I see you trying to open up but still you don't
I see you trying to express yourself to me but still you don't
I see the real you and it's beautiful but still you chose to be less
I see how vulnerable you are even though you act other wise
I see someone that is scared of getting hurt because of past experiences
I see someone that has the potential to be great and has just began to go places
I see someone that has overcome so many obstacles in life
I see someone who can do anything as long as your mind is set
I see someone that i would forever want to be in my life
I see someone that can change the world
I see someone filled with so much courage and drive
I see someone that has an unconditional love for family
I see someone that is scared to let go completely
I see someone that had to be strong at a young age and now doesn't know how to let go
I see someone that has been disappointed too many times and is now afraid of letting people in
I see someone that makes me want to be a better person
I see someone that has a big heart but,


You see someone that is lost and confused
You see someone that has failed or is failing
You see someone your not proud of
You see someone that used to have a big heart
You see someone that wanted to change the world
You see someone that is struggling
You see someone that does not know where they are going
You see someone that is not a good person
You see someone that is like everyone else
You see someone that is a burden to others


It's okay to be scared but when fear starts to stand in your way of been truly happy then there's a problem. If your someone that is always going to be sitting around waiting for happiness then it would never come to you have to chose to be happy. Yes most times life experiences show that caring and loving only allows for a person to be hurt, disappointed and betrayed I feel that not caring or the inability to express one's feeling because of fear of rejection or pride is a much bigger loss and disappointment. If you do not think that you are the person you are meant to be then do something about it. The only one that can stand in your way is you and I think the moment you realize that a lot is going to change for you. Never stop believing in your self because whenever the real you comes its simply beautiful. Hopefully you get to see this and start thinking differently because if your saw yourself through my eyes then you would know that are truly a unique and blessed person.


Dedicated to all those out there who think less of themselves without realizing how great they are. Keep believing in yourself just like I believe in you. Always remember that you are not alone... :)
Love always,
Daddy's little girl (Mbang)...xoxo